and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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