I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
