So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
