I love black thongs
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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