thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
