I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
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