I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
operation have a gay friend backfired
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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