I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I will be naked everywhere
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
