i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
