k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
