You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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