Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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