Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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