I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
