if you like me you must not know who I am
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
