You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Randomize
