maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
