I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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