I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I think your dad took our porno
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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