Tell her she can't have a vagina
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
