Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
You can't special order awesome
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
