OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize