yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
