ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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