hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
