She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Panties = found
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
