do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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