thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
