Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
