just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
just tell him i said nine months
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
