Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
im holly from the hills drunk
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
