I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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