How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
