Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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