All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
