Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
