I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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