i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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