i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
