At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
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