Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
