I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
