he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
