As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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