you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
this hospital has no fireball
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
