i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
