Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
