So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
