i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
