If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
In America we eat man semen.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
