Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
