I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
whose ass print is on the piano?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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