I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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